Monday, October 06, 2008

Wet Leaf Story

Back about TEN years ago, I was asked to lecture and teach out in San Francisco. I was really looking forward to spending time there, teaching, and connecting to several internet pals as well as meeting new friends. I anxiously looked forward to the trip, making plans for extra days on both ends of the actual job part.
       A macro photo of a wet leaf!

But I got hit aside the head when the Mister decided that I might have too much fun and he would come to. Afterall, he had two old girlfriends who had ended up there and he could reconnect with them while I was teaching. I wasn't happy but also added on a few day in northern CA to see some wineries and maybe a sequoia (see picture to the right!)

The magazine on the plane out had a story about older Japanese women who dread their husband's retirement- that they will become a 'wet leaf'. I didn't get this reference because retirement was so far ahead here. But now I do. A 'wet leaf' is blown aimlessly around in the wind, then hits your leg while you're crossing a street and clings. You can't shake it off, you have to stop what you're doing, bend down, and peel it off. You don't want a man to be a 'wet leaf'. So we joked about it in the plane, and I told the story to my classes. Well, I think that's the only thing they remember about me because whenever I see or get an email from one of those women they start laughing about my wet leaf!

So, the other day I pulled on some old jeans and realized I have hated them since I bought them, probably because they don't make me look like this:

I just don't have the tolerance for uncomfortable clothes any more, so I tossed them into the Goodwill bag, but it left me with only my 'Jackson Pollock' model jeans that fit, and yes I bought them all pre-covered with paint but have added my own layers of filth since.  I though they were funny at the time.  But alas, one cannot feel good in painty jeans so I needed new ones.  Off I went to the 'maul' where I tried on maybe twenty pairs looking for plain dark, straight leg UNbroken in jeans with no spangles, scrolls, sequins or embroidery on ones ass.  Money was no object-  I tried all the fancy brands, some of which are up there around $200 but none of which allow for meaty thighs or my height being less than 6 feet.  No Mom Jeans, no Jordach.
Oh, and did I mention high waists or pleats or acid wash?  I may be old but I am not here yet:
So, after the fancy stores, after the teen stores, I ended up at the Gap.  That's where I knew they would have jeans, right?  Wrong.  All of theirs were flared legs or a 3" rise or had those awful button flaps on the back pockets, OR were (gag) acid washed with those lines from sitting already dyed in.  Who invented that?

So I went to Marshalls and there they were!  Deep dark indigo, no stretchie stuff, slight lower waist, straight legs, no pocket frivolity.  They pulled up and buttoned, mission accomplished, and they are only 2" too long.  I love these jeans and haven't taken them off for four days now.  They fit, they look good,  But what happens when they are in the wash?  (and we are coming to that point soon)  So today I went back and bought a second pair exactly alike.  One can't be too careful with jeans.  Oh, they cost $19.99.

Last week I got a new eyeglass prescription so the first thing I did was to go buy a new pair of sunglasses.  The ones I have been wearing were about 5 prescriptions ago and have a huge scratch through one lens-  I needed them badly.  I also have to change the lenses in my regular glasses which I still like after 2 years (they are green on the left side and tortise on the right and it's fun to see people try to figure it out.)  But I got to the glasses store and found CHECKERBOARD glasses that fit like they were made for me (ie:  extra wide)  I have always loved checkerboard floors:
Never tried checkerboard costumes or checkerboard makeup, at least not yet:
But glasses can be the ticket.  These are NOT the glasses-  mine are tortise and shell and grey and cream checkers on the front and sides but look mostly light.  My usual glasses are dark.  Imagine these inside out:
And yellower, but not this yellow:  (that's not me btw-  my hair is ummm... more.)
And as soon as the glasses are ready I will buy these to go along with them.  A little pale brown shoe polish and they will match perfectly.
A week they said, I can't wait!

3 comments :

Terry said...

I buy only Gloria Vanderbilt "Amanda" jeans. They are very cheap--available at Kohl's and often at Costco. They have a little stretch, no rhinestones, no embroidery, straight legs, many colors. They fit me. That is the truly amazing thing about them. I now own about 8 pairs. I, like you, tried on jeans in every possible venue and these, alone, fit me and pleased me. When you find a brand of jeans that fit you must look no further and be always loyal, because it is nothing short of a miracle.

K said...

Go back and get another or 2 or 3 pair.
YOu'll thank me when they are no longer made!
K

Radish said...

The stuff they do now isn't *real* acid wash. Those were the good old days!