Back in the early 90's when I was still on dial-up and surfing around the WHOLE net every night, I came across a quilting board. When anyone signed in they made a comment about sharing their coffee or pass the sugar- something like that- to pad the board into more of a living room kind of meeting with drop-ins and drop-outs, with silent members and very vocal members, anger and laughter mingled into information about what stage their latest quilt was entering. There were naturally some people I liked immediately and would start corresponding with personally and these folks became my on-line BFFs. At some point we formed a little private list and it gradually grew into 9 members of (sort of) like-minded folks. Good thing our minds were alike because there weren't many outward other similarities!
Over the years we would meet each other on business trips or arranged meetings or attending the same events so by now- I was still traveling and teaching and met most through that, all over the country- we are spread quite wide. I have now met them all and I believe most of the others have too, though we have never been all together. One of the things we have in common is our age group- four of us are now over seventy, the rest are creeping up behind us in their advanced 60's. Today we received the devastating news that one of us is in end stage cancer. Now, if this as a neighbor, I'd smash in the front door and bring a casserole, vacuum the living room, and hold her hand. I'd pick people up at the airport, I'd arrange for kids, hell- I'd even mow the lawn and put up Hallowe'en decorations. I think possibly the only thing I would NOT do is make her a quilt. But I'm 1000 miles away and all I can do is email support to a woman who has so much to offer for years ahead, but just found out her calendar has been ripped in half. I am so sad for her and her family. So sad for the rest of us too, because I know they are all in the same mind set and aren't ready to lose her either.
All we can hope is that she has a good long time left where she is feeling well and able to do things and spend time with her family, but in our hearts we know the awful truth ahead. Facing this is really facing our own futures.
2 comments :
Sandy, I'm so sorry for you and your friend. I know how hard it is to be at a distance and feel like you want to do something. A friend's husband recently died after having cancer for about 6 months., and I hated that all I could do was send things.
We are in for a long time of experiencing these losses if we are lucky enough to live long lives. All we can do is rage against the night, and be supportive. My thoughts are with you.
As one of The Nine, you did speak for us all. PS I'm only 62 and one member is younger. But we are all feeling mortality nipping.
I thank you for all the loving friendship we have shared for over 20 years and am glad for those glasses of wine we have shared too! You (all) have meant more to me than you know and I bet vc would say the same.
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