waiting for the muse: Transitional Cuniformed Ascender

The other day I had to finally break down and buy some jeans. All mine are currently cropped because I am rarely in weather cool enough any more for real pants covering my ankles, but there is some fall coming up and I don't know how long I will be marooned here, so regular jeans were the order of the day. Things sure have changed since my Levis days when they were $5 at the dime store in the back. Or even the $20 Gap jeans where you could take one of each style into the dressing room and they would all fit, it was just a matter of what color blue you wanted. My needs were simple- I didn't want any rhinestones anywhere, I wanted high back pockets with no flaps or embroidery to increase the illusion of ass, and I wanted jeans that didn't make me look fat, like the kind that have big patches of thigh bleached out. I also capped the amount of money I would spend to under $50, and even that I thought outrageous. I musta tried on twenty pairs and settled on two. One is perfectly ordinary, though slightly lighter than I wanted, and the other is this:

It's a Ralph Lauren (pronounced LAUR-in, not La'-RENNN, thank yew) jean, it fits and the model is called the Jackson Pollock! Yup, it is pre-splattered with paint splotches all over, but with concentrations on the thighs and the ass where one naturally rubs one's hands when they are all painty. Is this not the dumbest thing you ever saw? But I bought them ($25) because this is how my jeans look in a month anyway- thought I could just hurry it along. Lordy.

Two more pages of bridges on the wall...

Two more pages of bridges...

If one of these bridges should happen to fall...

Two more pages of bridges on the wall!

These are the out-takes for the Bridge book I sent off already. When I get the pages all together it will sure be interesting, eh? Blue bridges forever. Guess it will find a permanent home in the guest bathroom with all the other oddities of life. (Which, by the way, NO ONE ever comments on!)

Tomorrow we are off to Florida again to check on the renovation project. I have a feeling not much has been accomplished but here is great urgency in all these emergency messages we get on our cells here- 'WHAT COLOR STAIN FOR THE FRONT DOOR???' and 'WHAT COUNTER-TOP IS GOING IN THE LAUNDRY???' (A no-brainer as we have removed the wall between the kitchen and laundry and it would be really dumb to use a different counter since it's one friggin room now!) Oy, but the stupidity continues. I'll post some pictures of the progress when we roll in tomorrow evening if it's still light enough to see what has happened. As usual, south Florida is experiencing thunder and lightening every day and temperatures in the high 80's. I try not to go out unless absolutely necessary.