Thursday, April 09, 2009

Crotchety Post About Crochet

which I cannot load pictures for.  For some reason Blogger is resisting my attempts so I won't show you the amazing crochet tree cozy or the guy who crochets sort of snood like coverings for statues,  or the beer cans crocheted together into hats (acts as a tinfoil hat I bet!).  So, eat your hearts out until later when the picture thing loads again.

Or send me a haiku!  

Today I bought a whole bunch of fancy-ish blue pens, about six different blues with a fine tip because I made a decision to just go ahead and finish the last of the books and simply MAKE UP how I am going to hold the signatures together.  I had found some silk ribbons with a blue edge and a purple edge and white stripe up the center so plan on using them some way.  Also, I use bamboo skewers in the cyanotype for the cover so I am thinking I need to incorporate the sticks in the binding too.  A few years back I dyed a bucket of indigo shibori with Carol Grotrian, my personal shibori guru, loved the velvet and the silk damask, and used it all up in a skirt that I have never worn.  So tomorrow I am going to take a picture of it, then cut it up to use as the spine.  I had also cut out shibori shell designs and fused them to the skirt.  And oh, I also knitted a shell out of space dyed silk ribbons with a shot of silver.  Stunning.  If I saw it in a store I would have bought it, but truthfully still probably wouldn't have ever worn it.  

So, the other day I told a friend that I had an idea for her for the annual decorated golf cart Easter  parade.  I don't have a golf cart of my own, nor do I have a family of little kiddos who come down for the endless festivities of egg hunts and bunny sightings and the golf cart parade.  Some of these are as simple as having a huge WalMart purple stuffed bunny bungee corded to the roof (almost reminiscent of Gitmo), some as complicated as displaying full scenes and covered with flowers like it's the friggin Rose Bowl.  Our Texas friends had their Golden Retriever costumed as a cart horse to 'pull' their Texan version of an Easter float.  Other friends included a cooler of Margaritas just in case.  

But I had a little idea for my friend, I called to her across the table:  "Hey, how about making a huge Easter bonnet on top of your cart!?  (This had been generated by my trip through Home Depot where I saw sisal rugs for cheap money-  I saw them as a huge straw hat.)  But my friend HEARD ME as "Hey how about I make your golf cart a huge spring bonnet?"

See the difference?

Anyway, I spent the day hunting and gathering materials and reforming the ideas by what I could find to use.  What I ended up with is a big golf umbrella that I sawed the handle off, this will sit on top of the cart and I will build a cardboard brim all around it.  The whole thing will be covered by a wicker printed sheet I had used as a tablecloth for years and that will be draped and tucked and taped in place.  We have some fancy wide gold and pink straw ribbon to fix around the brim, and several ropes of pink flowers to tie on.  the front will have a huge bouquet of pink hydrangaes and a 'veil' draped over the windshield.  We were WalMart Shoppers.

And a word about that while I am at it-  We were greeted by three different people in their red pinneys, we saw cashiers talking and laughing with each other, someone wheeled a new shiny cart over for us.  We saw gaggles of red worker bees all over the front of the store and we were offered their help over and over.  Until we got to the back of the store waiting for someone... ANYone please... to come find us to cut the bloody fabric. Had to have been 20 minutes of waiting and asking people to send someone and wandering around looking for a clerk.  Wal-Mart-  pay attention and RE-assign your help to where they might be needed, like more than one little Vietnamese man who was English deprived but the only soul in a blue pinney for miles.  Oh, blue pinney?  He was a different level than the red pinney people!  I get it now-  the red English speakers don't actually do anything, just be friendly while the helpful blue people who don't have a clue what you're talking about DO try to help.  Hmmm, wonder if Sam thought up this policy back in Arkansas.

Sigh.  OK, back to the golf cart-  we spent more time today mocking it up, getting the construction crew down the block to cut off the umbrella shaft, and flipping the tablecloth over all at a rakish angle.  Yup, that's me, the resident **IDEA** gal.  Shoot me now.

And YEZZZZZZ, I finally got the crochet pictures loaded but lost the full descriptions and links to what they actually are.  Use your imaginations and maybe tomorrow I will fix it up.

the crocheted water tower cozy

The full sized statue cozy

The iPod cozy

And finally, the beautiful tree cozy-  I imagine this as stunning against a wintery sky!  

And a lovely beer can crocheted hat.  You could also use Diet Coke cans you pick from trash bags at sporting events I suppose.  But the mohair sashing is really over the top-  I think there is some acrylic yarn left at Wal-Mart that would also be appropriate:  Candy Apple Red or chrome yeller, your choice.  

1 comment :

Terry said...

Our last trip to Walmart, at least 4 years ago, had my husband asking for bungee cords and the English deficient blue pinney clerk scratching her head saying, "I don't know what are this boonchee card." Hilarious pantomime ensued. No bungee cords to be found.