From the Mouth of an Expert

I was walking this morning with the Walking Nazi and was telling her that I was surprised to see her on our path where we meet since she is a Good Catholic Girl and I thought that Jesus would have grabbed her for all her trouble of going to church on a regular basis. She told me no, she is still around because it won't happen until later this afternoon, but she doesn't think she ants to go either. I told her about my Pet-And-Jewelry Rescue and she wants to only join on the jewelry part.

Told her tough nouggies, to get her own business. If I have to take people's old smelly animals for a couple of diamonds and rubies, she can jolly well suck it up for what she wants. I suggested she offer plant care. But frankly, after walking with me and Molly for seven years now, she still calls her 'HIM' and always tells me 'HE has to POOP' when all she is wanting is to chase a duck. It's better that you leave your pets with me, because I will at least take good care of them in perpetuity and plan on doing some remedial housebreaking and anti-bark training in exchange for letting them on the king sized bed. And of course offering major jewelry protection from your heathen family members who you know will be rifling through your drawers as soon as the planes can land.

Speaking of that, I am off now to find a new duvet cover, something washable and fur-colored. And that's the Noon Report, Florida is still intact, though pretty hot today.