Sunday, April 09, 2017

interior interject interlude

“Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self-worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.” (Elizabeth O’Connor)

One of my readers* wanted to make sure I saw this article from Detroit she found.  I thought the warning was important enough to post here in place of the regular scheduled squirrel picture, but then decided to do both.  In the article I have added comments in red:  

IN THE NEWS45-year old Janice Smith was arrested this morning by officers of the Detroit Police Department, for allegedly capturing numerous squirrels and training them to attack her former lover.  Who knew this was a possibilty???The victim, 51-year old James Robinson, was presumably attacked by the rodents on more than a dozen occasions  over the last month.  I think I would have learned my lesson after maybe the second attack.These attacks caused him many serious injuries, including the loss of two fingers and one testicle, bitten off by his attackers.  Losing body parts alone would have stopped me from returning.  For Sure. The poor man had no idea why squirrels kept attacking him until he saw his ex-girlfriend, a former circus animal trainer, cheering the animals during one of the attacks.  Animal trainer in the circus, currently jobless but looking for a new career.  She noticed there was a large lack of trained attack squirrels so took it into her own hands to create employment. “She was partially hidden behind some bushes, but I could clearly see her and hear her. She was yelling orders at the squirrels and telling them to attack me.”Realizing that his life could be in danger, not to mention his other testicle Mr Robinson filed a complaint to the police, who paid a visit to Ms. Smith wearing their protective SWAT gearIn her residence, they found a dozen cages, holding a total of 27 squirrels. They also found two training dummies with pictures of Mr Robinson taped over their faces.  Training dummies, that's what she needed, as if the ex wasn't dummy enough! Detroit Police Chief James Craig confirmed that Janice Smith had admitted that she was responsible for the attacks and confessed her strange plot. I removed the photo of three police in full decorated uniforms posing at the press conference for solving this crime. There was no picture of Ms. Smith or Mr. Robinson. “Ms. Smith confessed to capturing and training squirrels to harass and attack her ex-boyfriend. She used to train lions for a circus, so it was easy for her to make the animals do as she wanted. She said she hoped to raise an army of up to 50 or 100 animals.” Damn-  she trains lions too?  What didn't she stick with that-  ONE lion could have done the job more efficiently.  Here she is with her horse dresses as a lion-  unfortunately this horse wasn't trainable to attack.The 45-year old woman is now facing a variety of criminal charges linked to criminal harassment and using animals as weapons.DPD Chief James Craig admitted this morning in a press conference, that this case was probably the strangest that he’d seen in his career. Really? Haven't they heard about Florida-Man? Janice Smith’s lawyers have demanded for her to undergo a psychological evaluation, claiming that she was unfit to stand trial.They say that her choice of training squirrels instead of dogs or bears suggests that she might be suffering from mental problems.If she is judged fit to stand trial, Ms Smith will be facing a maximum of 65 years in prison.  But can she take her trained squirrels with her?  They are surely unfit to set loose on the world and return to the trees, especially with Mr. Robinson still their target.  

All that red lettered comment stuff wore me out-  
then breakfast, then TY gets home from the Bahamas, then I trot him through the latest assaults on the house, then he watches the Masters and snoozes all day until we go out for dinner.  And I disappear out to the studio where I am STILL basting down my wind lines.  Anyway, here's what to do with hole-y fabric and a couple of bugs:

Adam Pritchett is an embroidery artist based in Lake District, England, a countryside famous for its forests, lakes, and mountains. From these bucolic surroundings he draws inspiration for his minimalist botanical embroideries that usually feature flowers, vines, and tiny insect inhabitants. For a particularly ingenious series, Pritchett stitched a variety of spiders into the canvas, turning gaping holes in the fabric into spider webs. You can follow more of Pritchett’s needlework on Instagram and he sells many of his original pieces in his online shop

Who took back her crayons before even taking algebra or history.  A mind is a terrible thing to waste, wish I had that back, the heck with those crayons..

*And thanks, Kay, for that meaningful squirrel article!

1 comment :

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that wasn't an April fools day joke?
Cheers Jan