Contribute Bruit Betty

Spamusement! Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines! Finally I have someone else who is as taken with spam headings as I am! This link courtesy of Victoria, about the only one who apprerciates my spam collecting efforts. Thanks!

I went to the brand spankin' new Nordstroms yesterday and didn't buy a thing there. i was fondling some of the Roberto Cavalli's but wondering who can wear them since my 'soft little hands' were catchng on the filmy fabrics. Roberto would be so upset.

Everything in the store has faux jewels set on it somewhere- belts with diamond-likes, sweaters with topaz, purses so heavy with turquoise and coral that I couldn't pick them up empty! The shoes had ankle straps and wooden platforms and tiny little jeweled buckles that old people cannot reach to work. The sneakers have no laces and somehow one is supposed to slide one's foot into these tight elastic straps now. All the blouses and tops are diaphanous, cut low and spagetti strapped. Charming on crepey chests and flapping upper arms IF one can even get ones boobs jammed in. In short, I was one disappointed lady, feeling my age after this one.

When did this happen? What wrong turn did I take? Looking at all these pretty LITTLE things I view through my young mind, I love them, but then I pass a mirror and that damn old lady is following me again. I met a friend there and she was with her granddaughter- grandma is my age and her granddaughter is in her 20's. Huh? How did I get kids that are turning 30? I still identify more with the young moms pushing their kids in strollers- can I be THAT wrong, that off base, that unrealistic?

Yes. So I have 2 choices. I can accept the fact that I am what I am and shop instead at Macy's and TJMaxx. OR I can keep jamming my fat rolls into completely unsuitable items of beautiful design and fabric.

And go back on the diet once and for all. Bulges alone isn't doing it, even when i am good at attending regularly. The 3 mile walks aren't doing it except for Molly who keeps jumping up to bite my elbows when we slow down. She is a hard taskmaker.

And speaking of the Adorable Molly, she had a trip to the beach at sunrise this morning. She loved playing near the surf and running like mad to not get wet. She found a stinkin' hunk of former-flesh and seaweed and thought she had a treasure beyond measure so rolled away in it to keep the scent as long as possible. Good move- it's 9 hours later now and she still stinks so badly I can't be in the same room.

I think I need a drink and a sit down with Oprah- hope she isn't doing anything weight related today.