Omnipotent Outshone

“in order to be irreplaceable one must be different” Coco Chanel

Fashion Statement: Lends new meaning to having a 'fir' coat. But one must be careful because rampant squirrels will throw red paint at you when you wear this. It's sort of a dominatrix costume, don't you think? Look at how she dominates what's-hiz-name!

And speaking of abbarant behaviors, I must tell about the birthday party for our 70 year old friend last night. It was in a wonderful new place, quite beautiful and grand, tucked into a private room near the back. We were a bit late so everyone had drinks and delicious smoked salmon- fortunately 2 pieces were left and we scarfed 'em down before anyone else arrived. Dinner was delicious, a choice of three different items and all were equally well done. But as we finished up the main course, someone closed the door to the little room and it was scary, but soon after, the door opened and a policeman was there looking around.

OOPS. A very cute young cop who all of a sudden took much interest in the group, so I started to laugh hysterically. Pretty soon he zeroed in on the 'birthday girl' and started bumping and grinding at her much to her utter embarrassment. It didn't get better. There was an apalling silence over the group, all older and conservative and the kid kept at it. I do have to say he gave it his all and only got down to his black mesh underpants and big boots- an unusualy combination that I can't imagine is sexually arousing for anyone. Finally he gave up and gathered his clothes and proceeded putting them all back together (he had velcro strips up the sides and reattached them carefully along the seams, he found his undershirt, then his shirt and put them back on all the while talking to the group who are sort of watching him silently.


Except for one hootchie woman at another table with the improbably name of Melody- she had to be in hr 70's too, long bleached blond hair, tight black pants that were low enough in the back to show her thong, and a tank top that was too short. She had started off with some kind of blouse but abandoned it when she sat down next to an 'interesting' guy. She found baby cop very intresting too and proceeded to hold her loud conversation with him across the room while he was zipping himself back together, then asked for a picture with him! So the birthday-girl's husband had to set up a picture with her on the baby-cop's lap. He asked her, "Left Knee? Right Knee" or "Weenie". She giggled. I gagged.

At that point I broke away and went to the bathroom. Stayed there until I thought the cheesecake was over and the real cheesecake was served.