Reminiscing

Kurt Vonnegut in Slaughterhouse Five:

The most important thing I learned on Tralfamadore was that when a person dies he only appears to die. He is still very much alive in the past, so it is very silly for people to cry at his funeral. All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just that way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.

The other day was my brother's birthday.  He would have turned 63 if he hadn't died in Vietnam back in 1968.  Earlier this year I opened the box with his letters, purple heart and silver star, and commendations but closed it back up to give to my son-  I still cannot read those letters.  But the significance of this particular birthday is that he has now been dead exactly twice as long as he was alive.  The interesting thing about losing a loved one at a very early age is always wondering what might have been.  Would I be an aunt and a sister-in-law?  Would I have had someone to share my concerns over my aging parents and to subsequently share in their loss?  What were all the missed joys and sorrows beyond what I had experienced before I turned 25?  I'll never know.

But if you have the chance, get in touch with your siblings today.  For me and all I have missed.  Thanks.


And a little PS: Thanks to Jackie for suggesting 'Water for Elephants' as my next reading assignment. A bit late for Nate's Mothers Day, but it's in the pile now as my next project after 'The Girl Who Stepped on the Hornets Nest", which is turning out to be a slow-go. The two prior books filled my S+M quota for a while, but I always try to finish what I start.